A Post Jōl Reflection

Greetings all, this year was the first year that I openly celebrated Jōl, or Yule or Geola or whatever you wanna call it. And it’s been fantastic.

Beginning with Modraniht on the 20th, I held a small ritual outside a creek that runs behind my house, blanket laid on the cold winter ground. I asked the Land Wights for their permission to hold cult on their land, and I hallowed the area with flame. As I began to fove offerings and prayers to the Disir, I felt a strong, motherly connection that I haven’t felt in a long time. It was truly a wonderful experience and while it was rather cold and I only had on a very light jacket, I found myself out there for much longer than I expected, and leaving was a bit bittersweet in a way.

The next day, the 21st, I held a feast, inviting all manners of friends and family to enjoy a nice Schweineschnitzel and Käsespätzle dinner that I worried about way more than is healthy. The meal itself was a success, and I had a nice plate made for the ancestors. Following the meal, there was talking and rejoicing and all the things I hoped for. After everyone left, I had my more official ritual, and it was lovely as well.

I kept up this mindset of relaxation and joy, with a mind towards the ancestors and what we have lost, until Twelfth Night, and while not every night was am elaborate ritual, there were plenty of offerings, honey, salt, incense and whatnot.

Naturally I gave cult to the ancestors, with the Disir closely in mind. I also focused on goddesses associated with winter, this being Holda, Cailleach Bheur, and Morena. This Jōl was a feminine one I suppose, with plenty of offerings and prayers to my goddesses, and to Ingui.

So this wasn’t really a scholarly or informative post, but I wanted to share what my first open Jōl was like! In the upcoming days I plan to write on what fertility gods mean to me as a trans woman, some hot takes on cryptids being Wights, and mental health and paganism.

Wonderful Wights and Special Spirits (Part 2)

There once was a wight named Henry. Henry lives behind the fridge, and is very fond of sugary drinks and various influences he can be under.

Henry is the name my family has given to one of our house wights in the family home, and he is near and dear to our hearts. His presence is always felt, and always appreciated. Those in the basement will feel his joyful exuberance and be relaxed by his calmness.

So why am I writing about this fun loving house spirit? It’s because it is extremely important for heathens to be familiar with the wights in their home, and to form relationships with them. I give offerings to Henry and our other wights on a regular basis, and when I don’t, he notices. Things will disappear, the atmosphere will change, and you can tell he’s a little upset. Give him some Mountain Dew and a rip on the bong and you’ll definitely feel his demeanor change. This brings up my second point. Paganism is full of aesthetics, and heathenry is no exception. But not every offering needs to be mead or fine resin incense. It is okay to veer away from the typical, “proper” offerings. Personally, I cannot stand beer. No matter how hard I try, I cannot find myself enjoying it. Beer is a common offering, as it’s been important to countless cultures for millenia. Yet, if I offered some beer to the gods, or to the wights, I would feel guilty. It may be more traditional, but it’s not something that I enjoy, so theres a definite feeling of guilt there, as if I’m offering up things I don’t like so I can keep my preferred food and drink for myself. Have I offered beer as sacrifice? Of course, but I never get the same feeling as when I offer up something I enjoy. I absolutely love apples, in juices, ciders, any form. So I frequently find myself offering apple juice, and the feeling od doing so is much more fulfilling and I feel more connected with my gods and wights after doing this. I also enjoy Mountain Dew, because being a heathen and white trash are not mutually exclusive. I have absolutely offered up all manner of things some stricter heathens would despise me for. Amongst these things is cannabis. I am extremely fond of the plant and all of its uses, and when I mix it in with a homemade herbal blend, it becomes something more personal and important, so I find myself smoking with intent, breathing in, dedicating this to the gods, and as I exhale the smoke is offered up to the gods, rising and twisting. It goes through my body, and as it leaves, I feel connected and grounded.

Perhaps I got a little off topic, as we were talking about wights after all.

I see the trees in my backyard and I smile, I feel their being as I touch their leaves. As the creek bubbles and flows, I feel their presence. In the home, I’ll feel comfort, I’ll see movement out of the corner of my eye, and I know I’m not alone. At first this is scary, fully recognizing and understanding that there are things we cannot always see, but we know are there. As a baby heathen, you read out wights and animism and many of us can question if we really do believe in these things. I always advise against deciding to believe in whatever you read, but I, personally, have always believed in hidden beings, I grew up obsessed with faeries and creatures of the night, strange entities hidden in the woods. Being so, I began to understand these beings as wights, spirits.

However, my practice is not solely Germanic. I have a huge amount of Gaelic and Slavic influence, and this absolutely shows when talking about wights and otherworldly entities.

Whether I choose to call the spirits of the land wights or Aos Sí often feels irrelevant. Different cultures had different names for what ultimately are very similar concepts. The Aos Sí are a bit more specified than wights, with different names and specific forms, but the blanket term is very similar. In Slavic folklore there is the Domovoy, a house spirit that will be extremely familiar to those of us who have relationships with our house wights.

Moving forward into other spirits and entities, we see the Elves, partially deified ancestors ruled by Ingui, the Twerg, dwarves who may or may not be those who died an unexpected death, Dísir, female ancestors somehow related to the Matronae. In conclusion, there are huge amounts of otherworldly creatures in our lore it is our job to find out how they play into modern heathenry.

Wonderful Wights and Special Spirits (Part One)

I love wights. I love the mere concept of them, and I love talking to and building relationships with them. Wights and other similar spirits are a big part of my practice, and my life.

Being Heathens, most of us will give shoutouts to the wights, if not elaborate offerings. We acknowledge the wights of the land, and of the home, and in doing so we bring them into our lives.

So what are wights, really? Are they the souls or energy of the things thtymake up are world, trees, rocks, lakes. Or are they merely inhabitants of these places, natural entities whose essence is captured in these places? I find myself thinking that they are not mutually exclusive. Considering a land wight, lets say a tree wight. The entity of a tree, its spirit and its energy, I can feel that, even sitting inside. Being an animist, I absolutely recognize and acknowledge that there is something in everything. Every blade of grass, every pebble, there is always something ethereal and wonderful about them. But what is that ethereal presence? Can they leave their homes, if thats what they are?

My Gods

A little explanation into the gods I give cult to, and their meaning in my life. Not to be seen as definitive in any way, just a simplification of what my gods mean to me.

Holda

Hearth goddess, protector, mistress of winter. With Holda, my Holda, things can get confusing. It is my upg that Freyja, Frig, and Holda are facets of the same motherly hearth goddess. They have different aspects and are unique, I almost see the as different stages of the same goddess.That being said, i do not view her as a maiden/mother/crone goddess, but one loving goddess with different names throughout the Germanic regions. At first I saw Freyja and Frīg as separate entities, then through etymolgical similarities and upg I began to see them as one and the same, kind of like the ways people act when they’re talking with certain people. Continuing forward, upg and ritual told me that Holda is also a part of this goddess. Given my connection towards Holda, I commonly refer to her as such, but will call her Freyja or Frīg when referring to her in that way. I do realize and accept this isnt the common view on these three goddesses, but in my hearth and in my life they’ve proven to be all aspects of a loving mother goddess.

Nerthus

Earth mother, keeper of cycles, goddess of life and death. While we know little about Nerthus, we know she is associated with the earth, and her mention in Germania also associates her with death. I view her as the mother of life, an earth goddess of forests, oceans and mountains, but also as a goddess of the later stages of life, including death. I see her overlooking natural cycles, seasonal changes, the life cycle, lunar cycle, even things like the water cycle. She is a goddess of beginnings and of ends, and of the beginnings that come out of those ends. This opinion is mostly upg, and I cant attest to how other Nerthus devotees see her, but this is how she has presented herself to me.

the Three Morrígna

One of my main Gaelic influences is the Morrígna, or the Morrígan. I see her as three sisters with their own personalities. Notice I use the pronoun her to describe the Morrígna, I don’t know if this academically correct, but since their often seen as aspects of the same goddess, thats how I’ll refer to her.

Badb, or Badb Catha, is the battle crow, she is the goddess of war, and of struggle. She teaches us to fight for what we believe in. She is particularly important to me as a communist, and I see her as a strong, quite frankly baddass figure that inspires me. Macha teaches us to protect our homes and our families and what is ours. I see her as the most motherly of the three Morrígna. Nemain embodies the frenzied struggle and chaos of war. To me, she embodies the struggles against oppressive governments and equally oppressive mental illnesses. Once again, a ton of upg, and I do recognize the alternative Morrígna, being Badb, Macha and Anand/Morrígu. I see this as valid but I felt a calling towards Nemain, as someone who struggles with depression, anxiety, and bpd, I see her as a powerful figure to be respected.

I’ll admit, these are the goddesses I find myself praying to the most. I don’t want to say they are more important than other deities, but they have a different role in my life.

Wodan

Wodan is many things but to me his aspect of the Wanderer is most relatable. Incredibly wise, he travels about, experiencing and effecting many lives. A fatherly figure, certainly. However, Wodan is extremely powerful and can be more than little intimidating. I give cult to him often, I just don’t ask for much

Donar

Donar is the protector of men and women, and to me he is seen mainly in this way. He has presented himself to me in a way not unlike Ziu. Protectors of those who cannot protect themselves, amongst many other things.

Ziu

Ziu provides the similar protections of Donar, but I see him more as the warrior, Donar as the sentinel. He is the god of the Thing, and of justice.

Ingui

Ingui is the ruler of the mound and of the elves. He rules over the honored dead, and as such I view him as a god of death, but also of family. His phallic associations are also important as putting him in the role of a fertility god, something that also makes him like Nerthus in a way, looking over life cycles

These are the deities that have the biggest impact in my life. I do give cult to others, namely the Tuath Dé Dannan and Cerridwen. Integral to my practice is also the worship of the ancestoes and wights, both of land and of home. As Jol approaches I’ve given sacrifice to the Cailleach Bheur, as another important goddess of winter. This is a Huge simplification of my deities and what they mean to me, but I do hope it’s provided you with a better understanding of my gods and goddesses.

Introductions

Hallo und willkommen! This is a personal religious blog in which I’ll detail my journey through paganism and the path I am on today.

First things first, this blog is strictly anti folkish, if you believe only white people can be heathens, go on and fuck off. If you believe cishet white dudes to be better than anyone, begone. If you believe that lgbt people, disabled people, mentally ill people, or any other group, is unfit to be heathen, go on. Get. If you believe men should have more power in heathenry, just leave (this includes you theods)

This blog is a place for me to focus thoughts on and about heathenry, paganism, the state od the world, personal thoughts, whatever.

My hearth and practice could be described as unusual, or at the least, uncommon. I focus on heathenry through the lens of the continental german people before christianization, primarily the western germanic tribes (such as the Saxons, Allemannic, Bavarians). I also have strong influences from Fyrnsidu, or Anglo Saxon heathenry, as well as Urglaawe. My practice is not strictly Germanic however. I am influenced heavily by the celtic cycles and by Gaelic polytheism, albeit not druidry. Slavic paganism is another influence on my hearth, but I’ve yet to give cult to any slavic deities.

My hearth, which I know call Wildwīb Fiurstat, based on the Old High German word “wildwīb” refers to a sort of monster, of a sort of wild woman, and fiurstat meaning hearth. I choose this name for two reasons. The first being, its a cool word and I like the way it sounds. Secondly, there are many aspects of a “wild woman” that I can relate to. Besides a direct connection to nature and general distaste for modern culture, I relate heavily to this monster version of a wild woman. She who walks through groves of trees scavenging for food, scaring away other people in the process. Being non binary and not traditionally attractive, I do often feel like some sort of monster. I feel a disconnect from the social concept of what a woman should be, and I feel like others view me as a beast. So, to name my hearth, the center of my home and of my faith, I wanted to express my feelings, as a feminine person, and as a pagan. Maybe its cliche or tired, maybe it’s not. Who cares.

This is just a little introductory post to let potential viewers get to know what this blog is about. Feel free to follow me as I figure shit out!